So, I’ve been thinking, especially since Mother’s Day, about the roles that we play, and who we are to our children and our community, and I’ve come to recognize the frustration and disparity that comes from within. While working in sales I was taught that the customer that fights with you is one that seeks to restore the relationship; they have simply been hurt and are seeking to restore the balance within the mind over the understanding of expectation as well as repair the relationship with you. For a while I have felt disturbance within my own spirit over the infighting between melanated men and women, and I couldn’t 100 % explain why, but I took it as par for the course; however my recent isolation and contemplation has lead me to understand truth; I am uncomfortable because I subconsciously understood that these arguments are attempts to reconcile.
Both men and women are trying to reconcile in love for each other, however they were taught toxic views towards each other, and therefore are struggling to reconcile life’s lessons with internal desires, and find peace within the beliefs/lessons that they have been taught versus the real experiences that are had. People are doing what they have been taught and expecting the outcomes that they were told to expect, but they are not reaping those benefits. Much like the customer who argues with the company to try to repair the relationship, we argue with each other and antagonize each other in an attempt to find the true answer to showing love to each other while receiving love in return. We are frightened in our expressions of love because far too often we have not received reciprocity, at least on the levels that we expect, so we war with each other hoping that answers will come.
I see so many humanistic people focused on the children, and indeed “the children are the future” and are to be protected. It has occurred to me, however, that one of the best things that we can do for children is to heal the parents. Anecdotal experience: while working at a second hand store, I had a regular customer whom I came to realize was a person that suffered from substance abuse who was reunited with her children. While watching the interaction between parent and child it was clear that the child had no concern for past transgressions or material things, she was just happy to have her mom back doing what she could to provide a life where they could be together. They came into the store and bought what they could when they could, and they were genuinely excited to just be together building a life. That is what inspires me now; people who want to come together in spite of what struggles they have endured in the past because they love one another. Likewise, I see the love between melaninated men and women, we simply do not know how to interact with each other without exploitation, and I want to heal the divide.
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